


Through Thick and Thin

by bbyong (lanternstar)



Category: JBJ (Band), Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: Cover Art, Cryptically mentioning PD101, Digital Art, Gen, I Made Myself Cry, I need to get this story out of my system., JBJ LOVE THEIR LEADER, Mention of Jang Moonbok, Not Beta Read, PLEASE SUPPORT JBJ, T for swearing, TAEHYUN RAISING 5 CHILDREN, Taehyun-centric, also mention of Taedong, also there are Yongguk's cats Tolbi and Leusi, bad grammar and weird use of phrases maybe, heart to heart moments between the members, korean suffix still there yall, some korean phrases translated to english, they are precious, this fic is written by non-native English speaker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 09:54:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12603968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanternstar/pseuds/bbyong
Summary: 1st November 2017.JBJ’s Dorm Apartment, late night.They came home from the Press Con for the new JTBC show and a meeting with their label about the recent state of the group. The atmosphere among them in the huge dorm is nowhere near comfortable, and Hyunbin can not take it anymore.aka that fic where they have heart to heart moments.





	Through Thick and Thin

**Author's Note:**

> _The Show_ here... means Produce101!

"This isn't you, Hyung."

Taehyun admired Hyunbin's bravery for speaking up, so suddenly; amidst the silence that has stretched for hours now—right after he made the apology and adressed the problem. Even chatterbox Donghan and silly Sanggyun were quiet between these long hours.

It was probably how he was brought up, from such broad-minded society... (Hyunbin does learn abroad for a couple of years afterall) Or from the harsh lesson that _The Show_ forced upon Hyunbin to face... The tallest dork (he reminds himself all of them are dorks, even removed-Taedong and intelligent Yongguk) slightly matured and became braver on some occassion. Albeit sometimes he's so quiet; the only thing that makes Taehyun aware of Hyunbin’s presence is by searching for his giant figure.

Kenta, younger than him, slightly older to everyone else, shifted beside him; he catches, in the corner of his eyes, the baby-faced member throwing glances to all of them while trying to make himself one with the cushions of the couch he and Taehyun are sitting on.

Taehyun eyed all of them from behind his bangs. He's been looking at the floor for a while now, waiting for everyone to finish taking shower.

Sanggyun took a seat exactly across from him on the floor, beside the coffee table in the living room, mildly disturbing Taehyun's view because he's topless, but that's better than he usually is, maybe because it's November already. Yongguk per usual handling Rcy in his hand across the table in front of Kenta. The youngest, their mischievous maknae Donghan sitting beside Yongguk looking unusually quiet and uneasy. Hyunbin, the giant, by himself not far away from them, sitting on the floor with his legs spread open creating a circle where Tolbi is sleeping inside of it.

"And how exactly I'm supposed to be then?"

He rarely said something mean and sarcastic... It's usually just plain sarcasm with no menace behind it and he spew a lot of unnecessary shit just to be funny or spontaneous.

"You are _Joyful_ ," The giant blond said, his thick eyeglasses slides down a bit. Sanggyun trying to bit back a laugh but he failed as awkward chuckle forcing their way out of his mouth.

"Okay. Real funny." Taehyun rolled his eyes. His annoyance finally caught up to him. He realized. He is totally miffed at the whole situation. _Frustated_ , is probably the exact word to convey what he feels. And disappointed with himself. All he could feel is _hate_. Then nothing but _loathe_ for himself. Negative energy just flowing inside of him and he hates it.

Why aren't they leaving him alone, he doesn't know.

"You guys should sleep! We have an early practice tomorrow, I mean, today. Morning. And Hyunbin, your day is packed, for godness' sake." He remembered the call Hyunbin took between practice and van ride this morning, talking about the next episode of _Borg Mom_ , while everyone is asleep.

"No." Said Sanggyun with his tongue out. " _Nope, nope._ " He said it in English this time. Taehyun's eyebrows rose.

No one moves, and Donghan became more obvious that he is not comfortable at all with what is happening in front of him. Somehow Taehyun got a feeling the maknae is afraid that he will burst.

"Why?"

"Why what?" That surprised him. Donghan who spoke up this time instead of his hyungs.

He didn't respond. Just looking at them one by one, puzzled by their pensive look.

"Why we won't let you sit here alone and having a... breakdown...? by yourself?" Yongguk words, despite his hesitancy to use the harder phrase, left a bit of impression on him.

There's that long silence again. Taehyun clearly doesn't know what to feel about this revelation of their knowledge.

"You guys knew." He finally stated.

"Yeah..." Donghan exhaled. "You immediately told us to sleep yesterday when we're back home after the meeting with the PR, said you wanted to watch the TV for a while to freshen up, I'm waiting for you in our room. You're the one who needed sleep the most, after Hyunbin-hyung I mean," Donghan nudged Hyunbin's shin with his toes.

"It's weird because, if I remember clearly, you haven't watch TV alot... Then you woke me up this morning with puffier eyes than usual." The maknae finished.

"Everyone noticed that." Yongguk quipped.

"Well, we did live with one hundred kind of people for months. We learned to notice a lot of things." Said Sanggyun wisely, while repeatedly nodding his head in an exagerrated manner.

"You wanna... Uh.. Talk about it, hyung? Shares it with us? All of us?" For the first time, Kenta spoke up. The light-haired fake-maknae trying to maintain his expression to be as calm as possible, though, Taehyun knew better.

His first instinct is to laugh. Taehyun doesn’t know why, but he can't hold down his laugh, so he did it out loud. Boasterously. That got Sanggyun spooked, mumbled something in English about _Halloween Spirit_ (honestly the oldest was curious about the rapper's hidden English skill but now it's not the time) and the self-proclaimed top visual drags his body away a few inches from Taehyun.

Kenta now seems like he refrained himself from backing down, and stood (or sat) his ground beside Taehyun, looking more concerned than ever. Maybe the light-haired boy thinks he's close to lose his mind.

Donghan inched closer to Yongguk, whose cats are running away from the scene, leaving him with Hyunbin's dumbfounded face and the maknae who keep trying to initiate skinship.

About a minute or three, passed. Taehyun's laughing dissipated and he found himself holding back tears.

No one says anything and he is glad for that.

"I blew it up," he said, finally. Scrunching up the mucus that threaten to fall from his nose.

" _Blue_ -what?" Asked Kenta, not understanding the phrase.

Taehyun gulped. Admitting it will be the worst thing, but there's no coming back. He has to.

"Destroyed it. All of your chances."

"What do you mean by that?" Asked Donghan, looking puzzled by his words.

And Taehyun had a mini-flashback of Hotshot days before _The Show_... He averted his eyes to the coffee table and inhales.

"Look, guys. I love this. I love having all of you guys, working, reaching dream together even if it was temporary... And because of that... I really wanted us to succeed, so each of our label would be willing to extent our group's contracts... It was selfish of me... But I also really want us to succeed so... Even if we go on our separate way, _we walk on the path of flowers..._ "

No one responds, really, or he was just not listening enough, but he continued.

"B-but I blew it up. A week ago on that teaser interview. I'm putting too much expectation on their end to cut unnecessary things, but I guess my stupidity passed their joke-meter. We could've lost so many of audience or pre-audience because of that..."

"You guys are young, and I'm not. Everyone around my age are either has been big, or altered their life to another profession. You guys have a lot to bet here, the first rock to climb up. While I'm putting all my hopes here. Because I already debuted, along with Sanggyun, but all of you are young. And I'm too stupid and selfish I didn't really filter myself, and I blew your chances away. I'm responsible for that."

No one said anything, again. Everyone has already averted their eyes from him, either looked at each other or lost in another dimension, thinking.

Yet Hyunbin beats everyone with how fast he responded him.

"Gee, **Idiot**." Sets of eyes widened at his words.

"Watch the way you are talking to an elder," Donghan reprimands him, wiggling his toes on the tallest' left shin.

"You too." Hyunbin shinned Donghan's toes away from him and look up at Taehyun.

"But seriously, Taehyun-hyung. You are idiot."

Taehyun sighed. He can haul Hyunbin later when he's not tired, because the fact that the brat calling him idiot starts getting into his head.

"And why is that, Hyunbin- _sshi_?" His formality slipped. Is that intentional, he himself didn't even know.

"You know damn well, I have and still received a lot of hateful comments worse than you are having right now. Heck, even Moonbok-hyung having it worse than you right now."

Sanggyun has a decency to flinch at their second youngest's word. Donghan and Yongguk trying to have a straight face, while Kenta looked back and forth between him and Hyunbin with raised eyebrows and wider eyes.

"The situation is different, Hyunbin-ah."

"What? Because we debuted?"

He nodded.

"Then what?"

He didn't respond. Hyunbin took his chance.

"We still got months, hyung. I hate seeing you halting yourself from doing anything. And this is... from what I learned on _The Show_... this is a prove, that we are moving forward. We got people trying to take us down... _PD-The Show_ showed us that netizen sucks. Those _naver_ articles keep bringing up some fake facts and repeated the same thing over and over. JBJ's _fan-deul_ knows the truth, Hyung."

"But we have audience, not just JBJ's _fan-deul_ to please, Hyunbin-ah." Yongguk said, his perceptive mind showed within his words.

"Then we get better. But I don't want us to limit ourselves...!" Hyunbin said, looking determined at Taehyun. "I know you are sorry hyung, but not sharing it will us is worse. I knew that from experience." Said the taller boy.

Instead of awkwardness, the silence given them time to process Hyunbin's speech.

The model did speak some truth. If anything, he's one of the most vulnerable between all of them in _The Show_. But he moved on, and they all saw Hyunbin's progress; the tallest of all of them even stopped complaining all together when they are practicing; While everyone take it easy at times, Hyunbin still trying to be focused so much on his movement in the dance, and in the vocalization. Taehyun realized that even Hyunbin has an insecure side of him and somehow that makes something protective inside the oldest stirred up (is this what Minhyun and Jonghyun saw in Hyunbin back then?)

Taehyun rubbed his unshed tears on his upper right-sleeve. Smiling tiredly at his members, he eventually concluded his thoughts, he can't be negative forever. He's in a state where he's physically tired, it probably had an effect on his mental health.

Looking around the room, his members are all smiling now. Kenta, the light-haired snaggle-toothed boy, moved to put his weight on Taehyun leftside, the second oldest snuggled against the smallest person in the room. Donghan moved to hug Yongguk who looks deadpanned and Sanggyun clung to Hyunbin.

"You guys don't want to assign someone else to be your leader? Hyunbin's a good choice." He asked them genuinely, through a smile as if he's joking, curious of what would they say or who will they choose beside him (though, he's not sure the dorm wouldn't be on fire if he's not the one who's in charge)

Sanggyun eyebrows rose up immediately (Taehyun was close to throw anything he could grab-in this case the TV remote-to prevent the topless rapper to speak what he could guess another pun, but he refrained) though, the older respond was beaten by Hyunbin's.

"No thank you hyung."

Somehow Sanggyun looks disappointed and clung back to the second youngest like a koala on bamboo plant. Yongguk snorted, while Kenta and Donghan laughed at his expression.

"All we need is Taehyun-hyung. And all of your charms." Said Hyunbin again, smiling, his pupils disappeared as his cheeks raised.

There's another silence filling in the room, but it was different, now, because all of them are smiling with content. Then the youngest broke it.

"You know, hyung, I agree with Hyungdon, that day The more I look at you, the more you look like a minion." Said Donghan looking in Taehyun's way.

"What?"

"And Sanggyun-hyung can be one of Gru's daughter." all of them turned to Sanggyun who's currently showcasing his mischievous-confused face.

"The cute and crazy one." Yongguk added, Donghan making gun motion with his hand, shooting the Cat's Butler a grateful winks because he accepted the youngest' joke.

"Where is this conversation headed, honestly...?" Asked Kenta, looking so confused beyond anyone's belief.

The rest of the night they spent talking to each other for awhile, joking and enjoying their present predicament of being together; Through this obstacles of breaking through and stay relevant in the cruel industry.

"But we need to set up some new ground rules." Hyunbin told all of them before they scatter around the apartment.

"What is it?" Taehyun asked.

"No more shouldering your burden alone, hyung." Said Sanggyun, looking serious and laidback at the same time, like what he said didn't mean anything. He still looked silly to Taehyun (honestly the oldest wonders about Sanggyun a lot)

"JBJ isn't a temporary thing for me, hyung. I want us to stay together. Like, before we have a contract over our groupchat. Taedong included." Hyunbin elaborated, sounded like he choked back a sob. Taehyun himself feel that his eyes suddenly watered.

"Aaah." Kenta immediately agreed to what Hyunbin said. "Yes. Please tell us everything that bothered you." The second oldest trying his best to be stern.

"Yeah, I wanna help." Yongguk straight face also turned to the leader.

"You will do that, yeah?" Said Donghan, unattached himself from Yongguk and put his arms around Taehyun's shoulders.

Taehyun stunned for a second. They are too accepting to the oldest not to say anything against it. He feels like he came back to that moment on _The Show_ where he started to tear up for no reason at all. But this time, he knew he's being emotional because of these children... his members...

"Yeah... Yeah. Okay." He exhaled. And snorted to hide his obvious tears. Everyone smiled knowingly.

"You guys are... something." He added, not knowing how to express his overflowing feeling of gratitude and love.

"Popular demand, _we are_ popular demand," Sanggyun spontaneously rapped his line with a bit of alteration to the lyrics, with his teeth showing smile, throwing small glances at all of them. Everyone laughed at his rap, making Taehyun realized this is the first time he laughed until his cheeks hurts after a few weeks since their promotion started.

He loves them. He loves all of them.

**Author's Note:**

> My imagination runs wild because of what happened. But also because I began to stan them and think of them as my precious sons. I'll prOTECT ThEM!!!!1!!!
> 
> The summary is from Hyunbin's point of view, but the rest of the work is from Taehyun's point of view. I hope that didn't confuse anyone! But this will: _The Show_ here... means Produce101! not _SBS The Show_ I'm trying to be cryptic.... but I guess I failed lmao
> 
> Aside from that, please notify me about my writing mistake, or maybe more accurately _mistakes_ , so I could get better in making contents for everyone!!!!
> 
>  **05th November 2017** : I fixed some phrase that I think kind of weird! And added a few details here and there!! Thank you for the time you took in reading/checking this fic!!!
> 
>  **14th December 2017** : final? fixing. Fixing the flow of the story, adding a little bit here and there. But overall still the same. AND GUESS WHAT THAT JOYFUL PUN ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE HAHAHAHAHAH ATM IS NOW OFFICIALLY CALLED JOYFUL.
> 
>  **08th July 2018** : I'm back to perfecting my works, because, hell. JBJ is one step closer to being together, again. Flash update, Between December to February I'm just that one dormant fanartist and a very quiet Joyful, bought the album and all but very very quiet; AND THEN someone hurt MY BOYS. I began to partake and be an active Joyfuls because bitch what the fuck. They've been hurt once again by capitalism. I'm here to remind y'all JBJ exists.


End file.
